Yay. My brain cells are dying. I'm pretty sure of that. I can't tell you how many I have left, because I don't have enough to be able to count.

I got Helen for the Literature PT. It would've been Kate, but then Jenny didn't want to be Helen, so I got the role. It's not something I'm thrilled about, and I must say I'm more than a little disappointed (it'll hurt someone's feelings if I'm more specific). I seriously don't think I can pull it off, but since everyone else seems to think that I can... Who am I to refuse a role just because I don't like it? I've had enough experience with that kind of thing with Abigail. Besides, it really wouldn't be responsible of me to refuse to act as Helen, seeing as nobody else is really keen on it either. It'd just be passing sorrow around. Better me than anyone else; it's not like I'm making anyone else miserable now, am I? Being Helen is not 'easy'. In fact, it's probably the hardest role in the whole play. Have you any idea how hard it is to act as if you're blind and deaf when you're not? I don't really see why I get to do this just because I'm introverted. What has being introverted got to do with it? And is it supposed to be my fault that I'm introverted? I have to tell you, the only reason why I'm the way I am is because I could never afford to be anything else. It was always just, well, an act until I got used to it. Now I'm much more comfortable with the act than I would be, say, with speaking up and telling people what I really think about them. I try not to offend people but, with my silence, I still do it, right?

I'm not exactly cursing fate here or anything like that. But I have a right to air my views, don't you think? I wonder why I get a say, and yet I don't take it. YJ did ask me whether I minded, and as you all know I said I didn't. That wasn't exactly the truth, as is obvious. One of these days, my sense of duty is going to be the death of me. I wonder why I care, anyway. Should I? I guess so. So human nature is selfish, after all.

If someone had to shoot a person in our group, it'd likely be me. Because I don't shoot back if it misses and, even if it hits, that person's fate still wouldn't be so bad. I need to learn to retaliate, never mind whether people actually hit me or not. The mere fact that they desired to do so makes them more than deserving of rebuttal, which they usually don't get.

I wuv my big brother, and he'd better remember to go to sleep early. And congrats on the Kadaj hairstyle. I'll cut my hair by a little more than was originally intended. About 12 cm, I think. Decided not to cut it as short as Rey's. That'd be a disaster when it comes to tying it up for school.

I guess there are some things I really can't figure out after all.

Aerin
P.s. This point was brought up by a friend. 'Looking at it in a historical way, we know that people created religion for reassurance. So, naturally, if you don't need reassurance, you won't need a religion.' That's it, actually. What makes people think their religions are different? Enlighten me. I don't have a religion, so I wouldn't know.