Okay. Just for clarification purposes. Yes, I believe I'm smart, and possibly with good reason. And I have good reason to hate the rest of society for what they already did to me when I was too young to stereotype, so. Anyway, 'rage' probably isn't the person I'm talking about. The people I talk about (at least those whom I know personally) generally don't swear, unless you count YJ, and if she wants to swear she won't bother to censor it.

Ah, yes. The point about being unpopular. Well, seriously, I don't mind. I have no desire to be popular, after looking at what popular people did to me - again, when I was just a child. For your information I was in Primary One when it all started.

Maybe I am a total failure. Even I acknowledge the fact (do not mistake 'even I' for pride - I mean that even a person with no desire to be a part of society can see that...so on and so forth) that when it comes to social life, I have none. However, I've had more or less straight As since I entered school so at least you can't say I'm an academic failure. And while I'm not in the GEP (thank goodness, I don't think the poor souls need some more people to discriminate against them on my account) I never took the test (mother forbade it; said I wouldn't get in if I tried for a lifetime) so I wouldn't know.

Yes, I admit I stereotype. However, unlike some people, I stereotype based on what I know. Very little, admittedly, considering I have no social life, but you can't call it unfounded speculation either.

And yes, I am Singaporean, but I don't understand half of what people say when they don't use good English. Not my fault if I spent my childhood in China, never learnt a word of English before I was seven, and currently speak it better than most people my age (in Singapore) do. Reason enough to despise those who don't get there because they don't put in enough effort?

I'm not really that smart. I nearly killed myself working for my As back then. No, to put it more accurately, my mother nearly killed me. Did your mother cane you till you bled all over if you didn't get full marks on the Math exam, I wonder? Did she also throw you out for half a week because you got a Band 2 on Chinese?

And I don't have a lot of tags because virtually nobody knows that I have a blog in the first place. I don't need to let them know. I don't need company to feel that I'm needed. If I am, so be it. If I am not, again, so be it. I'm perfectly at home with my own company. By the way, don't swear on the tagboard. Not only is it impolite, it is an eyesore.

Okay, I correct myself. I should not have branded those people as idiots. I used the term extremely loosely. I think what I meant was something along the lines of 'lazy bummers'. Spellcheck comes free with MS word so when it comes to handing up assignments or anything that's typewritten, anyone not using the spellchecker is by my standards deemed lazy. I apologise for any bad grammar found in the last few paragraphs; my brain is on shutdown at the moment. Has to be, or this would be a rant.

No, I don't have a PhD. That is my goal in the future, though. Anyway, to those complaining because I'm commenting on (and therefore negatively criticising) their work, I'm going to throw back at them what they often say to me: Don't like, don't read. I admit I have no right to comment, however - in fact, I have as much right to comment and stereotype as some people have to stereotype me. Which is none, but it happens. You must admit that hardly anyone has not infringed on somebody else's rights during their lifetime. An apology nontheless, and if it really offends you I shall carve it on the wall in my house where nobody will see. The building will be taken down in half a year, anyway, so no matter.

Break: Yes, I use my brain. What I'm doing? Shall I tell you? I'm giving back to society the hell it gave me when I couldn't defend myself against it.

I don't have an excuse for how I'm acting, I admit. Even I don't know why (again, it's not pride - it's just that I'm the person who should know me the best). I could cry and offend no-one, but that's against my nature. Fine, so maybe my whole nature is corrupted with pride. Have you considered, though, that without that pride I'd be crying all the time? All that has ever driven me in this life is pride. I stuck it out to become the top student because of pride, because I wanted to say something along the lines of, "See, you discriminate against me without good reason and here I am, standing tall and so far above you". I put up with the scoldings and the beatings because of pride. Because I was too proud to let someone know I had a problem, and because I was too proud to let society see that there was anything beyond what they saw. I didn't want anyone to see what was beyond the mask of the cold, haughty, anti-social honor student. Should I have risked it? Do you think so? Would you have risked it? I didn't trust society then, haven't trusted society since then, and maybe never will. It's true that distrust doesn't hate and that hate doesn't equal lashing out at everything that comes my way. But what the hell (excuse the language) do you want me to do about it?

They want to discriminate against me. It still happens now, albeit to a lesser extent (thank God for YJ or I don't know what I'd do sometimes; whenever I feel like doing something incredibly dumb like cutting there's her voice popping up in my head telling me I'm being an ass).

So I'll give them a reason to discriminate against me. Go ahead, hate me however you like and however much you like. It doesn't matter. It hurts, yes, but I'm used to it. In fact, since I seem to keep making everyone hate me, it could be said that I enjoy it. So maybe I am a sado-masochist and maybe I should take my father's advice and go see a shrink because according to him I've had this problem since Primary Two. Not cutting, thankfully. He means anger problems, introvertion, snapping pens, rulers, chopsticks and such. Dissecting beetles to a certain point, which did not help in my Biology and which I stopped so long ago that I completely can't remember anything of the sort. (Do you think he's trying to get me worried so I'd panic and go call IMH right away or something?)

Yeah, minus the acid and swearing, you all have relevant points, including 'rage', whoever that person is. I get the message. Live and let live, don't judge people so harshly, practise what you preach, be more agreeable (and not so arrogant), etc. etc. I hope I got it right. Feel free to correct me if I didn't, but you may have to face another tirade. As I mentioned before, I have anger problems.

Oh, one thing I really dislike... People always assume that people who are anything like me have no friends. Remember the bad post I cited as an example last time? It was in reply to someone (who was really a bit like me) saying that you may assume he has no friends but his friends are more loyal than anything the person he was talking to could imagine. The analogy was that his friend would take a bullet for him. My friends wouldn't do that, hopefully, and if they did I'd call them extremely stupid, but Forte for one would devise a way to stop anyone from getting hit, Cesar could be the alarm, and YJ would avenge the death of anyone who did happen to get hit, although hopefully the genius's bullet-proof plans wouldn't fall to ruin. (I realise I'm guilty of redundancy, using two "hopefully"s in one sentence, but if the teachers are merciful for my essay paper that may be forgiven.)

In short, yes, I do have friends, and very good ones too. Just a note to thank them for putting up with this little bundle of angst that may or may not be amusing/endearing depending on mood.

Rock on, guys. (For YJ: Hamsters wuv you.)