I realise all my posts have been YJ, YJ, YJ. Then again, my social life does practically revolve around her, so I suppose it's no matter. Please don't start thinking I'm crazy (even though I know I am). I just need some time. Which I'm not going to get.



Oh gods, why can't some people shut up?



Or do I want them to shut up because they're not talking to me?



Don't know; can't tell. But the only thing I want to hear now is music and more music. I start to understand how people can play for two hours straight. It's another thing I want to do and never stop, but in this world you can never go on with anything indefinitely, can you?



I should write, but the rules of the game state that there has to be a response first.



I don't know why I feel like, quite frankly, crap. I say that so little that when I say it, I usually mean it. Feelings of inadequacy, maybe. I'm behind on almost everything and not on the top at anything. Not to mention there isn't any support there for me because I have a ridiculous philosophy in any case. So it's my own fault. Maybe. I don't know. I suppose a hug would help, but then that's temporary relief so there's no point.



I'm sorry I'm so muddled. Dance isn't helping. Damn it, I need a shrink. Sooner or later I'm going to throw something at somebody.



You know what? I think it's because I want to cry but I'm not letting myself. Neither will I. I have no right. I have no right to cry about such things.



Never mind. I have more important things to do than wallow in bittersweet misery.

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